It’s the New Year. Do you set resolutions or goals? I do. More like intentions. Suggestions. Just do your best.

On January 1, posts pop up across social media, extolling the virtues of mental health. We need to take it seriously. We need to care for ourselves. We need reasonable work hours, expectations, flexibility. The workplace is changing. Employers are out of step with what employees want. C-suite step up and lead! 12/15/19

To begin, the disclaimers: if you love your Elf On The Shelf (EOTS), you won’t like this article, so you may stop reading here. If you are triggered by this little creeper that’s slowly killing our oceans, know that we can fight this. Together. #noEOTS. Finally, this is SATIRE. I made it up. You won’t find #keywords.

How It Starts

Do you have an Elf on the Shelf? I do not. I was spared the anxiety and overall terror that accompanies this pretend holiday (Christmas) tradition. No judgment.

You begin with the purchase of a $28.99 Elf and instruction manual…

This week I received requests from two college student to write resumes in preparation for a career fair. The request arrived on Tuesday evening, via text message, with delivery requested for Thursday afternoon, October 3. The career fair would take place Friday, October 4, at the current location for demoralizing professional football contests in Denver, also known as Empower Field at Mile High, previously known as Broncos Stadium at Mile High, Invesco Field at Mile High, and Sports Authority Field at Mile High, and colloquially known as Mile High, New Mile High or Mile High Stadium.

I said yes, quoted…

It’s always Christmas

Today is September 21, 2019. According to the current calendar, it is summer. But that’s incorrect because everyone knows summer ends on Labor Day. The fashion retail calendar is not only celebrating Spring/Summer fashion week for 2020 but also Pre-Fall, which began in July.

Starbucks, which controls the passage of time, has unequivocally declared that September is AUTUMN. Unless you enjoy FOMO, get yourself to a coffee shop and immediately purchase an unbearably hot $5 -cup? — of seasonal gourd-goo. The thermometer still hovers near 90 degrees in Denver, and even iced gourd-goo fails to entice. Your opinion is irrelevant…

I want to tell you something.

It’s not that important. No. It is.

What I want to say is that in February, I decided to take a chance and become a freelance writer. Specifically, I write resumes. Really great resumes.

I’ve been writing resumes for 20 years. When I struggled to find a job as a Director of Operations, my friends inundated me with suggestions to write. They flooded me with compliments about my outstanding writing. My determination to help others through my writing. Particularly resumes.

You might be happy

And 2018 and 2019

About two years ago, I bought a calendar — the kind you hang on the wall that now primarily serves a decorative function. I bought two packages of Post-it type tabs at the craft store. They are about the size of the ones that say “sign here.” One package of blue, and one of green. I wanted to track how many good days (blue) I had over time, and how many genuinely awful days I had over time (green).

Every evening, I contemplated the events of the day and then classified it as blue or green. What I’ve found is…

Have you heard? The U.S. economy is in great shape. Unemployment is low, and there are more jobs than workers. Employers bemoan the critical shortage of qualified applicants. Look around you. Do you know anyone who is currently unemployed? If you listen to the news, you may be tempted to conclude that there is a job available for everyone who desires to work. Where are the unemployed?

They are right in front of you. Unemployed. Desperately trying to enter, or reenter, the workforce. Clogging your inbox and applicant tracking system. Overwhelming your overworked and understaffed recruiting team.

Earlier this week…

Heather Davis

I write about everyday observations, and my dog.

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